I used to be able to stay awake past 11p. Now it's a struggle!
I used to HATE the morning. Lately I've been in love with it. Something about a whole brand new beginning...
I used to be able to wear 4" heels. I wore some to work the other day and felt like a baby giraffe walking. Never again.
I used to hate chocolate. Today alone I've eaten 3 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and 2 Kit Kat bars. Don't judge me. I'm about to eat a Snickers bar...
I used to be a vegetarian. Then I got pregnant and all I wanted were burgers. I haven't switched back ever since. Womp womp.
I used to think people were never ready to start a family. I don't think that's true anymore. I believe there is a time in your life when you have no desire for children. But I do feel like you reach a certain point in your life when you just feel ready. You're suddenly OK with starting a family. I know because that's how I felt.
I used to love loud atmospheres like restaurants with super loud music. Now I'm just old and I cringe at loud things like the TV volume and always turn it down. Except YG...I love me some loud church!
I used to dread going to work in the morning. You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you just want to cry. I never truly disconnected. I was constantly checking email, replying back at all hours of the day and all days of the week, making sure I didn't forget to do something. I'd wake up at 3a almost every day and email myself the one thing that I had forgotten to do. Now I have a wonderful work-life balance. It's unbelievable how normal I feel.
I used to procrastinate. Now I don't have time for that. I do my best to prepare. I make Eli's diaper bag at night, so that the next day I'm not scrambling. I make jugs of his formula so that all I have to do is pour and warm. I prep for my meetings 2 days before the meeting starts. One of my biggest pet peeves is feeling unprepared. I'm slowly conquering that.
I used to think I knew what love is. And then I had a baby. Don't get me wrong - everyone loves in their own way and not everyone needs a baby to learn love. But I have experienced love in a way I cannot even describe. It's one of those moments you don't know about until you experience it for yourself. It's this irrational emotion that you can't explain. E is the light of my life, the second love of my life (James is the first - hehe), and the reason I wake up in the mornings. I could just stare at him all day long. Yes, I'm the creeper mom who stares at him while he sleeps.
All this to say that it's not only motherhood that changes us. It's time. It's circumstances. It's life. I used to be resistant to change - in fact, most of humanity is. We're all creatures of habit. But change is good. Gives us perspective and something to look forward to.
I love my life. I always have. With its constant changes, ups and downs, crazy and sad and happy times. I love everything about it. I love looking back and reflecting on where I was and where I am now. It gives me good perspective on where God has brought me through.
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Why
A few weeks ago I had the privilege of coming up with the devotional for our directors meeting at work. I was driving home one day, listening to 1080 KRLD (yes, I'm a nerd and I LOVE the news), and one of those short, 30 second programs came on, talking about why we work. I was so excited because it fit so perfectly with our jobs in healthcare, and the thought of WHY I do what I do is so special to me. So I thought I'd share my thoughts with the team.
You see, my job at THH is
an answer to a prayer I’d been praying for over 2 years. I was coming from a place that offered little to no work/life balance, my boss was incredibly mean to me, I was commuting over an hour one way, getting stuck in traffic and developing my road rage; so for me, I wanted to
truly challenge myself to figure out why I do what I do. Regardless of everything, my mission at my previous job was always a good one - I had the privilege of finding the means to help people eat. That was always incredibly rewarding for me. But when I realized I was going to make a big shift in career focuses, and if I’d been praying and praying for a job
like this one, when I finally got it - how did my new WHY impact my work now?
I came across this story and it really drove that point
home for me. It goes like this:
In the late 1660s, Sir
Christopher Wren was commissioned to re-design St. Paul’s Cathedral in London.
According to legend, one day he visited the construction site of this great
edifice and was unrecognized by the workers. Wren took advantage of this and walked
about the site, asking several of the men what they were doing. One worker
replied, “I am cutting a piece of stone.” A second worker responded, “I’m
earning five shillings two pence a day.” A third, however, had a different
perspective: “I am helping Christopher Wren build a magnificent cathedral to
the glory of God.”
Why we do what we do is
extremely important, particularly when it comes to our working lives and
careers. That’s why Paul challenged the Ephesians in Ephesians 6, “Respectfully
obey your earthly masters but always with an eye to obeying the real master,
Christ. Don’t just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as
Christ’s servants doing what God wants you to do. And work with a smile on your
face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the
orders, you’re really serving God.”
If we do our work merely to earn
a paycheck or satisfy a supervisor, we will fall short of the highest
motivation—doing our best as evidence of our devotion to God. So, why do we
work? As that laborer told Wren, we work “to the glory of God.”
No matter who signs your
paycheck, you are really working for God.
This is why we work.
It is not for what we get. It is
about what we can give, and the biggest thing we can give to others is Jesus. Just as our mission states – we are here to
“extend the healing ministry of Christ.” And just like our mission at the food bank stated - I was passionately pursuing a hunger-free community.
So live it out loud.
Share what will last. Glorify God
in the workplace, and be satisfied not only in the assignment we’ve been given,
but in the one who gave it. Let’s remember
that our work on this earth matters because God is glorified in work well done.
And one day, either on earth but most likely in heaven, we will know the impact
we’ve made throughout our careers.
And THAT is why I do what I do.
And THAT is why I do what I do.
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Our Wishes for Sweet Baby Eli
1. Be active. Play outside. Get dirty and build immunity. Run in the sun and splash around in the rain. Swim in Tia Adriana's pool. No digital toys.
2. I hope I can control your sugar intake. I don't want you to be hyper and out of control more than what a normal little boy should be.
3. I hope you can be potty trained right around the time you're walking.
4. Be a Chargers/Texans/Rockets/Mavs/Padres/Astros fan. Go to tons of games with daddy.
5. Please don't have James' allergies. I want to get you a dog someday and I'd like to keep my house carpeted.
6. Be nice. Attitude is everything.
7. Don't get up to use the bathroom in the middle of a meal. It's gross.
8. If you're anything like your father was, you'll have a ton of girls craving for your attention. I'm OK with that. Just pick the right one.
9. Go to college. Learn something. Perfect your craft. Even if you become a basket weaver, do it with all your might.
10. Music is extremely important to mommy and daddy. But it doesn't have to be to you. You can do whatever you want - just grow your talents. And use them for His glory.
11. Mommy and daddy got through their entire lives without throwing a temper tantrum. Let's see if we can do the same with you.
12. You'll mess up. You'll fall down. What really counts is how you get yourself up and try again.
13. Have a heart for Jesus. Go to church. Make Him a priority, not a burden. Love Him with all your heart. Realize that He is all you will ever need.
Love,
Mommy & Daddy
2. I hope I can control your sugar intake. I don't want you to be hyper and out of control more than what a normal little boy should be.
3. I hope you can be potty trained right around the time you're walking.
4. Be a Chargers/Texans/Rockets/Mavs/Padres/Astros fan. Go to tons of games with daddy.
5. Please don't have James' allergies. I want to get you a dog someday and I'd like to keep my house carpeted.
6. Be nice. Attitude is everything.
7. Don't get up to use the bathroom in the middle of a meal. It's gross.
8. If you're anything like your father was, you'll have a ton of girls craving for your attention. I'm OK with that. Just pick the right one.
9. Go to college. Learn something. Perfect your craft. Even if you become a basket weaver, do it with all your might.
10. Music is extremely important to mommy and daddy. But it doesn't have to be to you. You can do whatever you want - just grow your talents. And use them for His glory.
11. Mommy and daddy got through their entire lives without throwing a temper tantrum. Let's see if we can do the same with you.
12. You'll mess up. You'll fall down. What really counts is how you get yourself up and try again.
13. Have a heart for Jesus. Go to church. Make Him a priority, not a burden. Love Him with all your heart. Realize that He is all you will ever need.
Love,
Mommy & Daddy
Thursday, April 2, 2015
More Learning Moments (in no particular order), Part II
1. Babies 'R Us is not overpriced. Everyone told me it was. But they offer GREAT rewards, they have a price match guarantee, and they carry almost everything.
2. I need a bigger car. This little hybrid I've been blessed with isn't going to be around much longer than the next year if I ever want to make a full grocery trip ever again....and no, I will never cave to a mini van.
3. If you plan on going back to work, get some help for that first month or so (if you can). I was so so so incredibly lucky that my mom came back to take care of E for the first month I went back to work. She would put him to bed and feed him in the middle of the night so that I could rest and be ready for work the next day. It was glorious.
4. People WILL yank your baby out of your arms. Just be prepared.
5. Always trust your mommy/daddy instinct.
6. Always carry Ziploc bags in your diaper bag! I always have a ton and they're handy for everything, but my favorite use for them is for diaper changes in public places. I stick the dirty diaper in there, zip it closed, throw away, and spare everybody in the bathroom from smelling E's poopies. :)
7. Your friends will change. In many ways. You'll find that those you were closest to will distance themselves. And you'll find that those you weren't that close to will come closer. And it's all OK - priorities change. It just happens. You make time for the things you want to make time for. My only advice is this: don't wish for your pre-baby life. Because it's never going to come back. Embrace your new life and your new challenges. You'll see that life is still so so so great - just in new ways!
8. Be ready for developmental leaps. They can be pretty difficult. Download the "Wonder Weeks" app. It's AWESOME. Maybe Eli is the most normal baby of all time, but the minute he went off his schedule or started acting weird was the minute my app went off w/an alert for a current leap. Leaps make your kid act strange. They get fussy and suuuuuper clingy. And I enjoy every minute of it. I'll hold Eli until the birds come home. If that's what he needs to deal with a new brain pattern, then so be it.
8. The first time you take baby to Sabbath/Sunday school will be one of the greatest days of your life. Seeing your baby fully engaged in the hand motions, the songs, and the stories of Jesus will make you want to cry. Babies are aware of so much more than we think they are. If church is in your life, start them off young. It's SO worth it.
9. You WILL bounce back. It will be difficult at the beginning, but I promise - you'll be back. Don't compare yourself to the other lady at church who looks better than you or to the woman sitting next to you at the pediatrician's office who you feel doesn't look as good as you. Every woman is different. You may bounce back in 5 minutes! It took me about 7 or 8 weeks to just start feeling like myself again, emotionally. And 15 weeks later I'm barely starting to squeeze into the rest of my pre-baby clothes. It's the price we women pay to live out the most beautiful time in our lives!
10. Be present. Dedicate your undivided attention to your kid. It's pretty easy to be on your phone during a feeding or while he falls asleep for the night on your shoulder...but I encourage you to put away your technology and spend uninterrupted time with your kid. Pray while s/he sleeps. It took James and me a while to get used to this. But your kid grows up SO fast, the last thing you'll want to do is miss out on tender moments. Hold that baby as long as you can! Because one day you're going to put him down and never pick him up ever again....
4. People WILL yank your baby out of your arms. Just be prepared.
5. Always trust your mommy/daddy instinct.
6. Always carry Ziploc bags in your diaper bag! I always have a ton and they're handy for everything, but my favorite use for them is for diaper changes in public places. I stick the dirty diaper in there, zip it closed, throw away, and spare everybody in the bathroom from smelling E's poopies. :)
7. Your friends will change. In many ways. You'll find that those you were closest to will distance themselves. And you'll find that those you weren't that close to will come closer. And it's all OK - priorities change. It just happens. You make time for the things you want to make time for. My only advice is this: don't wish for your pre-baby life. Because it's never going to come back. Embrace your new life and your new challenges. You'll see that life is still so so so great - just in new ways!
8. Be ready for developmental leaps. They can be pretty difficult. Download the "Wonder Weeks" app. It's AWESOME. Maybe Eli is the most normal baby of all time, but the minute he went off his schedule or started acting weird was the minute my app went off w/an alert for a current leap. Leaps make your kid act strange. They get fussy and suuuuuper clingy. And I enjoy every minute of it. I'll hold Eli until the birds come home. If that's what he needs to deal with a new brain pattern, then so be it.
8. The first time you take baby to Sabbath/Sunday school will be one of the greatest days of your life. Seeing your baby fully engaged in the hand motions, the songs, and the stories of Jesus will make you want to cry. Babies are aware of so much more than we think they are. If church is in your life, start them off young. It's SO worth it.
9. You WILL bounce back. It will be difficult at the beginning, but I promise - you'll be back. Don't compare yourself to the other lady at church who looks better than you or to the woman sitting next to you at the pediatrician's office who you feel doesn't look as good as you. Every woman is different. You may bounce back in 5 minutes! It took me about 7 or 8 weeks to just start feeling like myself again, emotionally. And 15 weeks later I'm barely starting to squeeze into the rest of my pre-baby clothes. It's the price we women pay to live out the most beautiful time in our lives!
10. Be present. Dedicate your undivided attention to your kid. It's pretty easy to be on your phone during a feeding or while he falls asleep for the night on your shoulder...but I encourage you to put away your technology and spend uninterrupted time with your kid. Pray while s/he sleeps. It took James and me a while to get used to this. But your kid grows up SO fast, the last thing you'll want to do is miss out on tender moments. Hold that baby as long as you can! Because one day you're going to put him down and never pick him up ever again....
Thursday, March 26, 2015
My Favorite Baby Products
(Again, in no particular order...)
1. Baby Shusher
They say that babies love the "sshhhh..." sound because it mimics the sounds in mama's womb. So some genius out there is a millionaire because s/he invented the baby shusher. It sounds dumb but it gets pretty tiring to "sshhhhh" for long periods of time. Buy a shusher! It really works! I used it on E and he would instantly calm down and fall asleep in <5 minutes.
2. etsy.com
Not just for baby, but for everything that's beautiful and not cliche. I bought E's pillow from here, our gender reveal invitations, and my favorite: his baby book!
3. Dr. Browns Products
E was a colicky baby, so I switched to glass bottles. Best decision EVER. Since he's formula-fed, I use Dr. Brown's formula mixer pitcher. I love this thing! I pre-make 2 pitchers at a time and it makes feeding faster because I don't have to sit there and hand mix each bottle. Super easy to use and NO clumps! Then, you stick all the bottle parts into this handy rack and wash them in the dishwasher.
4. The Boppy
I don't think I've met a <recent> mother who didn't have one of these.
5. Mamas & Papas Seat and Activity Tray
E LOVES this thing. He's starting to learn how to play with the toys. This is also a great activity to put your 3 month old on and make him/her super tired. He sleeps like a charm after 15 minutes on this thing! The Bumbo chair's leg openings are super small and I was afraid E's thighs wouldn't fit...so they recommended this one. It's great. The tray is removable so you can use it as a chair alone. The toys are also removable so you can use the tray and the chair. Very versatile.
6. The Honest Company
I didn't like The Honest Company very much at first because I put their diapers on E and he leaked right through them (later I found out it was a sizing problem because we changed sizes and he's been fine w/them ever since). But the more I read into their products and their mission, the more I loved it. If you can afford to splurge a little, it's totally worth it. The prices on the diapers really aren't that much more than Pampers, and I just recently started using them. The best part, tho, is the subscription service. Just pay a monthly premium and you'll never go to the store for diapers/wipes ever again - they come to your front door!
7. Pre-made formula
Lucky for us, Enfamil makes these pre-made bottles. I only use these when we're out and about -it takes away the task of making every bottle when you're at the store or out to dinner. Just uncap, pour into his bottle, boom. Ready to go. Super easy (these were a Godsend on our plane trip!)
8. Diaper Rash Cream
This is more of a Hispanic remedy. It's not really a diaper rash cream. It's just healing cream! On our trip to California, E got a horrible diaper rash. He was so uncomfortable. My Tia Irma came to the rescue w/this cream she bought in Mexico. It works wonders. I'd never heard of it but I tried it and it made his rash almost instantly better. It was mostly gone the next day. I had googled "best remedies for diaper rash" and one of the things I saw suggested was Lanolin - which, if you're breastfeeding, you probably have this stuff. It saves your nipples. Well apparently you can use it on diaper rash, too! This cream has Lanolin in it, which totally explains why it works so well.
9. Stroller/Car Seat Covers
If you plan on taking a plane trip w/car seats and strollers, I highly recommend covers! I couldn't really fathom not using these, because the thought of putting E in a car seat that had just been tossed around w/the rest of the germy luggage made me cringe. We have the Britax system so this stroller bag and this car seat bag were amazing. We risked it and checked them w/our luggage (gave us MUCH less to carry to the plane!) so because we did that, we stuck random stuff in there, too, to make our regular luggage lighter. Hehe. You can also get universal bags.
10. Boogie Wipes
These are gentle wipes made w/saline that easily wipe away caked on boogers, tears or spit. Love them - and they smell like grape!
11. Mesh Wash Bags
Because baby's socks and gloves are tiny itty bitty, I put them in these wash bags and then toss the whole bag into the washer. I have yet to lose a pair!
12. Britax B-Safe System
I love my stroller/car seat! I'll tell you what - nothing makes you feel more like a mommy than pushing a stroller. I think it's SO MUCH FUN!!! E falls asleep 30 seconds into every car ride. It never fails. So knowing that I can just take the seat and snap it onto his stroller w/out waking him up is amazing. Once he gets bigger, the stroller can be used without the car seat, of course. The stroller is super easy to use - you push one button and pull it up and it collapses instantly. I highly recommend!
13. This Book
OK I know people may be skeptical about this book, but it really works. I first heard about it from my sister's mother-in-law. She used it and recommended it multiple times, and every time, the couple gets the gender they want. I got pregnant too fast to use it, but as soon as we were preggo, I knew it would be a boy just by listening to my sister's explanation about how the book says to make one.
14. Stroller Organizer
This particular brand is discontinued, but they have similar ones everywhere. I stuck this on my stroller and it makes reaching for my drink/phone way easier than sifting through the diaper bag!
15. Bottle Warmer
When E was first born and before I discovered glass bottles, he used Tommee Tippee bottles, so we bought this warmer. And we still use it, even w/Dr. Brown's bottles! This one warms up his bottle in minutes. I use it every single day.
16. JJ Cole Agility Stretch Wrap Carrier
I loved this thing. It's super easy to use and I liked it better than having to learn how to wrap yourself with something like a Moby wrap (I'm too small for those - they're gigantic). It already comes done for you! You just watch the video on how to safely strap baby in and boom. This was especially great when baby is tiny. And even greater when all he wants to do is snuggle and you wanna walk around the house and do stuff! Now that E is bigger I can use one of the regular carriers.
17. The Diaper Genie
This apparatus came highly recommended to us, and it's totally worth it. You'll never have a smelly nursery because it's amazing at trapping the odors from diapers and wipes!
18. Wipe Warmer
This thing is great. E screams w/cold wipes!
19. Playtex Nursers
These things are amazing. I also only use these when we're on the go. It keeps us from having to carry 5 heavy glass bottles in our bag - you just switch the liner out (and I switch the nipple out, too), and they're ready to go. My diaper bag is so much lighter since I discovered these!
20. Zippered Onesies!
When it's 3a, the last thing you want to do is clip together all those annoying buttons on baby's onesie. I'm so grateful for zippered onesies. They're way easier and way faster. Also, I'm probably the last to discover Sears for baby clothes. Sounds unconventional because I always associate Sears with my garage...but they have amazing deals on their baby clothes. They're always cheap! And I personally refuse to buy expensive baby clothes.
1. Baby Shusher
They say that babies love the "sshhhh..." sound because it mimics the sounds in mama's womb. So some genius out there is a millionaire because s/he invented the baby shusher. It sounds dumb but it gets pretty tiring to "sshhhhh" for long periods of time. Buy a shusher! It really works! I used it on E and he would instantly calm down and fall asleep in <5 minutes.
2. etsy.com
Not just for baby, but for everything that's beautiful and not cliche. I bought E's pillow from here, our gender reveal invitations, and my favorite: his baby book!
3. Dr. Browns Products
E was a colicky baby, so I switched to glass bottles. Best decision EVER. Since he's formula-fed, I use Dr. Brown's formula mixer pitcher. I love this thing! I pre-make 2 pitchers at a time and it makes feeding faster because I don't have to sit there and hand mix each bottle. Super easy to use and NO clumps! Then, you stick all the bottle parts into this handy rack and wash them in the dishwasher.
4. The Boppy
I don't think I've met a <recent> mother who didn't have one of these.
5. Mamas & Papas Seat and Activity Tray
E LOVES this thing. He's starting to learn how to play with the toys. This is also a great activity to put your 3 month old on and make him/her super tired. He sleeps like a charm after 15 minutes on this thing! The Bumbo chair's leg openings are super small and I was afraid E's thighs wouldn't fit...so they recommended this one. It's great. The tray is removable so you can use it as a chair alone. The toys are also removable so you can use the tray and the chair. Very versatile.
6. The Honest Company
I didn't like The Honest Company very much at first because I put their diapers on E and he leaked right through them (later I found out it was a sizing problem because we changed sizes and he's been fine w/them ever since). But the more I read into their products and their mission, the more I loved it. If you can afford to splurge a little, it's totally worth it. The prices on the diapers really aren't that much more than Pampers, and I just recently started using them. The best part, tho, is the subscription service. Just pay a monthly premium and you'll never go to the store for diapers/wipes ever again - they come to your front door!
7. Pre-made formula
Lucky for us, Enfamil makes these pre-made bottles. I only use these when we're out and about -it takes away the task of making every bottle when you're at the store or out to dinner. Just uncap, pour into his bottle, boom. Ready to go. Super easy (these were a Godsend on our plane trip!)
8. Diaper Rash Cream
This is more of a Hispanic remedy. It's not really a diaper rash cream. It's just healing cream! On our trip to California, E got a horrible diaper rash. He was so uncomfortable. My Tia Irma came to the rescue w/this cream she bought in Mexico. It works wonders. I'd never heard of it but I tried it and it made his rash almost instantly better. It was mostly gone the next day. I had googled "best remedies for diaper rash" and one of the things I saw suggested was Lanolin - which, if you're breastfeeding, you probably have this stuff. It saves your nipples. Well apparently you can use it on diaper rash, too! This cream has Lanolin in it, which totally explains why it works so well.
9. Stroller/Car Seat Covers
If you plan on taking a plane trip w/car seats and strollers, I highly recommend covers! I couldn't really fathom not using these, because the thought of putting E in a car seat that had just been tossed around w/the rest of the germy luggage made me cringe. We have the Britax system so this stroller bag and this car seat bag were amazing. We risked it and checked them w/our luggage (gave us MUCH less to carry to the plane!) so because we did that, we stuck random stuff in there, too, to make our regular luggage lighter. Hehe. You can also get universal bags.
10. Boogie Wipes
These are gentle wipes made w/saline that easily wipe away caked on boogers, tears or spit. Love them - and they smell like grape!
11. Mesh Wash Bags
Because baby's socks and gloves are tiny itty bitty, I put them in these wash bags and then toss the whole bag into the washer. I have yet to lose a pair!
12. Britax B-Safe System
I love my stroller/car seat! I'll tell you what - nothing makes you feel more like a mommy than pushing a stroller. I think it's SO MUCH FUN!!! E falls asleep 30 seconds into every car ride. It never fails. So knowing that I can just take the seat and snap it onto his stroller w/out waking him up is amazing. Once he gets bigger, the stroller can be used without the car seat, of course. The stroller is super easy to use - you push one button and pull it up and it collapses instantly. I highly recommend!
13. This Book
OK I know people may be skeptical about this book, but it really works. I first heard about it from my sister's mother-in-law. She used it and recommended it multiple times, and every time, the couple gets the gender they want. I got pregnant too fast to use it, but as soon as we were preggo, I knew it would be a boy just by listening to my sister's explanation about how the book says to make one.
14. Stroller Organizer
This particular brand is discontinued, but they have similar ones everywhere. I stuck this on my stroller and it makes reaching for my drink/phone way easier than sifting through the diaper bag!
15. Bottle Warmer
When E was first born and before I discovered glass bottles, he used Tommee Tippee bottles, so we bought this warmer. And we still use it, even w/Dr. Brown's bottles! This one warms up his bottle in minutes. I use it every single day.
16. JJ Cole Agility Stretch Wrap Carrier
I loved this thing. It's super easy to use and I liked it better than having to learn how to wrap yourself with something like a Moby wrap (I'm too small for those - they're gigantic). It already comes done for you! You just watch the video on how to safely strap baby in and boom. This was especially great when baby is tiny. And even greater when all he wants to do is snuggle and you wanna walk around the house and do stuff! Now that E is bigger I can use one of the regular carriers.
17. The Diaper Genie
This apparatus came highly recommended to us, and it's totally worth it. You'll never have a smelly nursery because it's amazing at trapping the odors from diapers and wipes!
18. Wipe Warmer
This thing is great. E screams w/cold wipes!
19. Playtex Nursers
These things are amazing. I also only use these when we're on the go. It keeps us from having to carry 5 heavy glass bottles in our bag - you just switch the liner out (and I switch the nipple out, too), and they're ready to go. My diaper bag is so much lighter since I discovered these!
20. Zippered Onesies!
When it's 3a, the last thing you want to do is clip together all those annoying buttons on baby's onesie. I'm so grateful for zippered onesies. They're way easier and way faster. Also, I'm probably the last to discover Sears for baby clothes. Sounds unconventional because I always associate Sears with my garage...but they have amazing deals on their baby clothes. They're always cheap! And I personally refuse to buy expensive baby clothes.
Friday, March 13, 2015
My Favorite Learning Moments (in no particular order)
1. When E sleeps on his side, his diaper leaks. Always. It never fails.
2. I don't have time for petty drama. Not that I ever did before (who does?!), but I notice things that people do to me and say to me/about me that I used to totally react to. I've decided I officially have way better things to do and people to take care of. If there's a situation that I care enough about to let it bother me, I fix it. Or, I try. If I can't, then I can't. But I do try.
3. As of right now, 3 months later, I have no desire to have another child. I hear that changes with time. We'll see. I'll revisit this again in a year. But even though I had the best pregnancy in the world, I have no desire to repeat that process again. I've done it once, I was happy. I'm good.
4. People will have an opinion now more than ever. You're totally forming one now about E being an only child.
4. People will have an opinion now more than ever. You're totally forming one now about E being an only child.
5. Do NOT shake the bottle to mix the formula. Air. Everywhere.
6. Changing a baby boy's diaper is a learning experience. Always cover the weewee! I use a wipe.
7. Every child is different. I have stopped letting myself be guided by how others raise their children. I'll listen to advice all day, but I make my own decisions over the care of my child. I no longer keep thinking to myself, "How come E doesn't do that?"
8. I have waaaaaay too many baby blankets.
9. 12 weeks of maternity leave is not enough. We need, at minimum, 1 year.
10. I hate restaurants with bathrooms that don't have a changing table. Like The Cheesecake Factory in Arlington. What in the world?!?! I had to run next door to Barnes & Noble the other day just to change him.
11. In reference to #10, all changing stations should have a hook on them. For our diaper bags. Not all of them do. That would make life so much easier for mommies. At least for me. Because I never put my purse on any floor!
12. In reference to #11 above, changing stations should be in the handicap stall. Or in a "mother stall." I HATE changing E in front of everyone.
13. I will never ask other preggos "are you ready for this?!" whenever a baby screams or cries or does something bad. Because I hated it when people told me that! I will also never point out your swollen feet. I promise.
14. I have gained/found/discovered strength. I have no idea where it comes from, but it comes. Motherly instinct. I've been tired, yes. But I haven't been to the point where I feel I can't go on any longer. I don't know if it's because Eli is SO chill, but I have gotten away with 4 -5 hours of sleep p/night the last 12 weeks and I've felt great! Waking up for 3a feedings just happens. Like I get up and do what I have to do and be done with it. It's not a chore. Also, I wake up to every little noise E makes. It's crazy.
15. My least favorite question ever is "Are you breastfeeding?" I don't understand why people are so intrigued by this. I always feel judged when I say he's formula fed.
16. I don't pray enough. I find myself saying "God please help me with this one!" all the time, but I don't get on my knees often enough. I'm reading The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian and I LOVE how she teaches to be specific about the things I ask God for. I need to do that more often. I've started teaching Eli how to put his little hands together and pray for his food. We pray before every feeding. My hope is that as he grows he learns that that's just what we do- we pray and thank God.
14. I have gained/found/discovered strength. I have no idea where it comes from, but it comes. Motherly instinct. I've been tired, yes. But I haven't been to the point where I feel I can't go on any longer. I don't know if it's because Eli is SO chill, but I have gotten away with 4 -5 hours of sleep p/night the last 12 weeks and I've felt great! Waking up for 3a feedings just happens. Like I get up and do what I have to do and be done with it. It's not a chore. Also, I wake up to every little noise E makes. It's crazy.
15. My least favorite question ever is "Are you breastfeeding?" I don't understand why people are so intrigued by this. I always feel judged when I say he's formula fed.
16. I don't pray enough. I find myself saying "God please help me with this one!" all the time, but I don't get on my knees often enough. I'm reading The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian and I LOVE how she teaches to be specific about the things I ask God for. I need to do that more often. I've started teaching Eli how to put his little hands together and pray for his food. We pray before every feeding. My hope is that as he grows he learns that that's just what we do- we pray and thank God.
The end.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Everything will be OK
The biggest lesson I've learned in the last 8 weeks is that everything will be OK. It really will be.
There is one thing that James and I said we would never do: give Eli a pacifier. And I found myself compromising. I never wanted to give him a paci because I am deathly afraid of him having bad teeth. I refuse to settle for Eli having braces someday.
I found myself trying to comfort Eli one night when he was about 2 weeks old - nothing I did worked. He was crying and screaming and wailing....I didn't know what else to do. So I did what every new mother does - I googled it. I grabbed my phone and with screaming baby in crib, typed "how to soothe a crying newborn". I got all sorts of tips, and the most common one was "Use a pacifier." I learned that babies are naturally always trying to suck, and I noticed Eli was always sticking almost his entire hand in his mouth. One of the mommies in my first-time-mommy group on FB told me, "you can always take the paci away - you can never take away his thumb." She had a point. I grabbed the only paci I could find and put it in his mouth. Instant silence. Instant sleep. That was the first night Eli slept 4 hours straight. At 2 weeks old, we were golden.
I struggled a lot with that decision - because time after time I kept asking myself - am I doing what's best for Eli, or what's best for ME? Am I doing this so that I can sleep, or am I doing this so that HE sleeps? I went to bed and felt genuinely sad and grumpy. I felt like such a sellout. I hated that I had backtracked on a decision I had already made. After talking to James we decided we'd see how he would do. Eli is now 8 weeks old and he is doing really well. The paci helps to soothe him when he's extra fussy and he spits it out when he no longer wants it. My hope is that I'll take it away from him before he starts teething...we'll see how that goes.
I learned that what I thought I knew before I was a parent all went out the window. It's just like when you're single (girls, really). You think you know exactly how you want your wedding to be - you know what colors you'll want, you know what dress you'll buy, you have it all pinned on Pinterest. And then you get engaged. And the real planning starts. And everything changes. Nothing stays the same.
Every kid is different. Most of the time there's no right or wrong answer. The most important part about motherhood is that we have to learn to trust ourselves. To know that we know what's best for our children. Will we (I) fail? Absolutely. Multiple times. But that's life. Everyone fails. And as much as I absolutely positively HATE not having the answers to all of my questions, it is what it is. And I figure it out as I go.
So all of this to say....everything will be OK. I promise.
My sweet Eli and his paci
There is one thing that James and I said we would never do: give Eli a pacifier. And I found myself compromising. I never wanted to give him a paci because I am deathly afraid of him having bad teeth. I refuse to settle for Eli having braces someday.
I found myself trying to comfort Eli one night when he was about 2 weeks old - nothing I did worked. He was crying and screaming and wailing....I didn't know what else to do. So I did what every new mother does - I googled it. I grabbed my phone and with screaming baby in crib, typed "how to soothe a crying newborn". I got all sorts of tips, and the most common one was "Use a pacifier." I learned that babies are naturally always trying to suck, and I noticed Eli was always sticking almost his entire hand in his mouth. One of the mommies in my first-time-mommy group on FB told me, "you can always take the paci away - you can never take away his thumb." She had a point. I grabbed the only paci I could find and put it in his mouth. Instant silence. Instant sleep. That was the first night Eli slept 4 hours straight. At 2 weeks old, we were golden.
I struggled a lot with that decision - because time after time I kept asking myself - am I doing what's best for Eli, or what's best for ME? Am I doing this so that I can sleep, or am I doing this so that HE sleeps? I went to bed and felt genuinely sad and grumpy. I felt like such a sellout. I hated that I had backtracked on a decision I had already made. After talking to James we decided we'd see how he would do. Eli is now 8 weeks old and he is doing really well. The paci helps to soothe him when he's extra fussy and he spits it out when he no longer wants it. My hope is that I'll take it away from him before he starts teething...we'll see how that goes.
I learned that what I thought I knew before I was a parent all went out the window. It's just like when you're single (girls, really). You think you know exactly how you want your wedding to be - you know what colors you'll want, you know what dress you'll buy, you have it all pinned on Pinterest. And then you get engaged. And the real planning starts. And everything changes. Nothing stays the same.
Every kid is different. Most of the time there's no right or wrong answer. The most important part about motherhood is that we have to learn to trust ourselves. To know that we know what's best for our children. Will we (I) fail? Absolutely. Multiple times. But that's life. Everyone fails. And as much as I absolutely positively HATE not having the answers to all of my questions, it is what it is. And I figure it out as I go.
So all of this to say....everything will be OK. I promise.
My sweet Eli and his paci
Saturday, February 7, 2015
This is Not for Sissies!
I'll be the first to admit: c-sections are not for sissies. But I've never felt more like one in my life.
I'll say this - I was never afraid. I've been a part of medical families (on both sides!) long enough to know a thing or two about medicine and hospitals, and I've never been afraid of surgery. In fact, I've never understood why people freak out so much when they tell them they need to be operated on. I honestly didn't care how Eli came out, as long as 1) he came out, and 2) he came out OK. If that meant having to have major surgery, then fine. I just never thought I'd really have to go through it.
After 14 hours of labor, Eli's heart rate was way lower than the doctor wanted to see. So a c-section was the safest way to get him out. But it didn't really kick in until they started prepping me. THAT'S when everything got completely real. Just all the things they do to you to get you ready...then they wheeled me into the OR.
SIDE NOTE: the crazy part is that a bunch of these nurses/doctors knew me and I had no idea who they were (small Adventist world!+I work at Huguley). One of them even told me, "Are you going to take baby up on stage to sing with you?!" And all I could think was, "who are you?!" because I could only see her eyes behind all the gear she was wearing. I eventually did find out who she was, but good grief...I was confused! Anyway, I digress.
Dr. Duran finally came in and got started. And yes, I have all of this on video, it's the COOLEST thing ever. I totally felt the release of pressure when she pulled Eli out, and I even said, "Oh my goodness, I feel SO much lighter!!" I heard his cry, I saw him, and they took him away. James went with him to get bathed, to the nursery, etc., while they patched me up. I was kind of out of it, and I remember shaking A LOT because I was so cold. I was wheeled back into my room. Everything was great - I had a perfect, sweet baby, I was surrounded by my family, and I was happy.
And then the pain meds wore off. I didn't know I had to request them. I thought the nurses would just bring them in every 4 hours. Ya, no - they wore off. And they wore off when I was in the shower. James was with me, but I couldn't even move my arm back and forth to brush my teeth, I was in so much pain. I was sobbing, and then that made it worse because if you didn't realize this, we use all sorts of stomach muscles when we sob! Good grief, just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I was finally able to get myself back into bed, but not before promising James, "I'm NEVER doing this ever again. ELI WILL BE AN ONLY CHILD." I remember the nurse coming in to help put on my binder and I told her in between sobs that I felt like such a pansy. She kept telling me not to - I had just gone through major surgery - this was normal.
BTW - kudos to Huguley L&D nurses - they were AMAZING. And I don't say that just because I work there - they really were great!
But then I came home. And the meds didn't wear off, but I HATED the recovery process. I felt so useless. I was breastfeeding Eli, I was tired, I was sore, I was uncomfortable, I was hormonal, there was stuff EVERYWHERE (I HATE a messy living room!) and there were a lot of people in my house. It was the perfect storm. When Eli was 1 week old, I sat on the couch with my mom, watching church online, and just cried. I cried because I was tired, because I was barely making ANY milk, because I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in a long time and hated what I saw. No, I didn't have PPD, I was just sad. I guess they call it the blues.
I don't like feeling like I don't know what I'm doing. If I can't figure something out, I go CRAZY and I will work on it until I figure it out. I also don't like feeling unprepared. I was ready for all sorts of recovery from a vaginal delivery - I read up on it, I knew this, I knew that, etc. I was never prepared for the recovery of a c-section. Having a baby already calls for so much more than you're ever prepared for. It was a very humbling experience for me. It knocked me down so hard, because I felt waaaay too independent to not know what I was doing. I felt like I always needed to have an answer to why he was crying. Or why he was wincing. Or why he was or was not sleeping. I struggled. It took a lot for me to realize that I can't always have the answer. Don't get me wrong - I never once regretted having Eli - but I doubted my abilities a lot. I have never felt more inadequate before in my life. It was by far, the most challenging thing I've ever done.
As the days went by, I started feeling more and more like myself. It was so refreshing. When Eli was 1 week old, we went out to brunch. And I was so amazed at modern medicine + the human body - that one week later, I was walking around like whatever. It felt good to see the light of day, to see people, to eat out (one of my most favorite things to do!). I eventually started learning Eli's little habits; I started deciphering his cries, and I started getting the general hang of everything.
I reached out to my mommy friends -my village. :) They encouraged me, they loved on me, and told me about how they went through the same things. Listening to them made me feel like I WASN'T completely crazy. Every other first-time mommy struggled the same exact way I did. It was completely normal. And then I started feeling more normal.
I would never have been able to get through those first few weeks without my family. My mom, my in-laws and my sister did everything for us. They grocery shopped, cleaned, held Eli so we could sleep, etc. My church family brought meals to my house and so many others called and text to check up on us. I can't even begin to describe the wonderful support we received. I am by no means an expert - but Eli is 7 weeks old now and we didn't kill him! I feel like I'm in a completely different place than I was 6 weeks ago. I'm thoroughly enjoying this time off with him, and watching him develop. He's discovered his arms and his tongue recently, and I caught his first real smile on camera the other day (he was actually awake and not smiling in his sleep!). I have to keep reminding myself to not post on FB 100 times a day because so many of the moments I catch are sacred to me. While I still share a lot w/the FB world, I keep a lot of what we go through with Eli just between James and me. So we can revel in those sweet moments together - just the two of us.
I've learned a lot about myself over the past year. I've learned what I can and cannot take, I've learned that babies are mobile (yay!), and I've learned love in a way I can't describe. Being a mom is hard, it's challenging, yes - but it's the best thing I've ever done. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Looking back at the day he was born and the hard weeks that followed, I can't help but give myself a pat on the back. Because I got through it. Because I did it. It took a lot of people, it took faith, it took love from Jesus, but I did it. My body went through major trauma and I survived. And I realized maybe I'm not a sissy after all!
This is Eli smiling in his sleep - he does this all the time - haha!
I'll say this - I was never afraid. I've been a part of medical families (on both sides!) long enough to know a thing or two about medicine and hospitals, and I've never been afraid of surgery. In fact, I've never understood why people freak out so much when they tell them they need to be operated on. I honestly didn't care how Eli came out, as long as 1) he came out, and 2) he came out OK. If that meant having to have major surgery, then fine. I just never thought I'd really have to go through it.
After 14 hours of labor, Eli's heart rate was way lower than the doctor wanted to see. So a c-section was the safest way to get him out. But it didn't really kick in until they started prepping me. THAT'S when everything got completely real. Just all the things they do to you to get you ready...then they wheeled me into the OR.
SIDE NOTE: the crazy part is that a bunch of these nurses/doctors knew me and I had no idea who they were (small Adventist world!+I work at Huguley). One of them even told me, "Are you going to take baby up on stage to sing with you?!" And all I could think was, "who are you?!" because I could only see her eyes behind all the gear she was wearing. I eventually did find out who she was, but good grief...I was confused! Anyway, I digress.
Dr. Duran finally came in and got started. And yes, I have all of this on video, it's the COOLEST thing ever. I totally felt the release of pressure when she pulled Eli out, and I even said, "Oh my goodness, I feel SO much lighter!!" I heard his cry, I saw him, and they took him away. James went with him to get bathed, to the nursery, etc., while they patched me up. I was kind of out of it, and I remember shaking A LOT because I was so cold. I was wheeled back into my room. Everything was great - I had a perfect, sweet baby, I was surrounded by my family, and I was happy.
And then the pain meds wore off. I didn't know I had to request them. I thought the nurses would just bring them in every 4 hours. Ya, no - they wore off. And they wore off when I was in the shower. James was with me, but I couldn't even move my arm back and forth to brush my teeth, I was in so much pain. I was sobbing, and then that made it worse because if you didn't realize this, we use all sorts of stomach muscles when we sob! Good grief, just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I was finally able to get myself back into bed, but not before promising James, "I'm NEVER doing this ever again. ELI WILL BE AN ONLY CHILD." I remember the nurse coming in to help put on my binder and I told her in between sobs that I felt like such a pansy. She kept telling me not to - I had just gone through major surgery - this was normal.
BTW - kudos to Huguley L&D nurses - they were AMAZING. And I don't say that just because I work there - they really were great!
But then I came home. And the meds didn't wear off, but I HATED the recovery process. I felt so useless. I was breastfeeding Eli, I was tired, I was sore, I was uncomfortable, I was hormonal, there was stuff EVERYWHERE (I HATE a messy living room!) and there were a lot of people in my house. It was the perfect storm. When Eli was 1 week old, I sat on the couch with my mom, watching church online, and just cried. I cried because I was tired, because I was barely making ANY milk, because I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in a long time and hated what I saw. No, I didn't have PPD, I was just sad. I guess they call it the blues.
I don't like feeling like I don't know what I'm doing. If I can't figure something out, I go CRAZY and I will work on it until I figure it out. I also don't like feeling unprepared. I was ready for all sorts of recovery from a vaginal delivery - I read up on it, I knew this, I knew that, etc. I was never prepared for the recovery of a c-section. Having a baby already calls for so much more than you're ever prepared for. It was a very humbling experience for me. It knocked me down so hard, because I felt waaaay too independent to not know what I was doing. I felt like I always needed to have an answer to why he was crying. Or why he was wincing. Or why he was or was not sleeping. I struggled. It took a lot for me to realize that I can't always have the answer. Don't get me wrong - I never once regretted having Eli - but I doubted my abilities a lot. I have never felt more inadequate before in my life. It was by far, the most challenging thing I've ever done.
As the days went by, I started feeling more and more like myself. It was so refreshing. When Eli was 1 week old, we went out to brunch. And I was so amazed at modern medicine + the human body - that one week later, I was walking around like whatever. It felt good to see the light of day, to see people, to eat out (one of my most favorite things to do!). I eventually started learning Eli's little habits; I started deciphering his cries, and I started getting the general hang of everything.
I reached out to my mommy friends -my village. :) They encouraged me, they loved on me, and told me about how they went through the same things. Listening to them made me feel like I WASN'T completely crazy. Every other first-time mommy struggled the same exact way I did. It was completely normal. And then I started feeling more normal.
I would never have been able to get through those first few weeks without my family. My mom, my in-laws and my sister did everything for us. They grocery shopped, cleaned, held Eli so we could sleep, etc. My church family brought meals to my house and so many others called and text to check up on us. I can't even begin to describe the wonderful support we received. I am by no means an expert - but Eli is 7 weeks old now and we didn't kill him! I feel like I'm in a completely different place than I was 6 weeks ago. I'm thoroughly enjoying this time off with him, and watching him develop. He's discovered his arms and his tongue recently, and I caught his first real smile on camera the other day (he was actually awake and not smiling in his sleep!). I have to keep reminding myself to not post on FB 100 times a day because so many of the moments I catch are sacred to me. While I still share a lot w/the FB world, I keep a lot of what we go through with Eli just between James and me. So we can revel in those sweet moments together - just the two of us.
I've learned a lot about myself over the past year. I've learned what I can and cannot take, I've learned that babies are mobile (yay!), and I've learned love in a way I can't describe. Being a mom is hard, it's challenging, yes - but it's the best thing I've ever done. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Looking back at the day he was born and the hard weeks that followed, I can't help but give myself a pat on the back. Because I got through it. Because I did it. It took a lot of people, it took faith, it took love from Jesus, but I did it. My body went through major trauma and I survived. And I realized maybe I'm not a sissy after all!
This is Eli smiling in his sleep - he does this all the time - haha!
Friday, February 6, 2015
I'm Pregnant
I will never forget the day I found out we were pregnant.
I woke up suddenly as soon as my alarm went off - which is odd, because it usually takes me a good 10 minutes to really wake up. I'm a stomach sleeper - or, I was. So that morning I woke up with a seriously sore chest. My eyes popped open and the first thought that came into my head was "Oh my lord, I'm pregnant."
I got out of bed and felt the soreness even more. I checked the calendar - sure enough, I was already a week late. I went over to James and said, "Boo, I think I'm pregnant." To which he responded, "Whatever."
"No, I'm serious, James - my boobs hurt like heck and I'm a week late. Since you're off today, can you go buy a pregnancy test for me? I just need to be completely sure."
"No. You're crazy."
I really thought he was kidding, but by the time I was ready to come home I called him and asked if he'd bought the test and he said no. So I stopped by Target on my way back from work and bought it.
The Target employee at the register saw what I was buying and said, "Ooooooo - let's see. Look me in the eye. Yup. You're pregnant. And it's going to be a boy."
I literally LOL'd and said, "Ok, we'll see!"
I came home and took the test, and when I realized it was positive I said, "James....this mess is positive." Again, he said "No it's not - you're lying." "No, I'm serious - come look for yourself." James walked over to me, looked at the test and said "OH MY GOD YOU'RE PREGNANT!" And then he had the deer-in-headlights look on his face. I was suddenly so excited. I couldn't believe it was happening! I was smiling, laughing, jumping up and down, and James' deer-in-headlights look kept on....
We hadn't technically 'planned' this....we knew we wanted to get pregnant this year because 2014 marked our 5th anniversary, and we always said we'd wait 5 years before we had kids. And we had a good 5 years. We did some traveling, came and went as we pleased, volunteered the heck out of our time, and spent money on unnecessary things. So when 2013 was ending, we decided I'd stop taking my birth control, detox from all the estrogen, and then let nature kind of do its thing. Ideally, I wanted to start truly trying in June/July, but of course, we weren't very careful :) and by mid March I was pregnant. It happened so fast - but we were OK with it.
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to be pregnant at least once in my life. Pregnancy has always fascinated me. To me, the thought of carrying a life INSIDE of my own body is completely unfathomable and a ridiculous miracle that I will never understand. I still can't even comprehend the things that happened inside my body to form this perfect little human being. It makes me so much more aware of how our bodies are such a beautiful miracle in and of themselves, and brings closer to home the thought that God fearfully and wonderfully made us - with his own hands. He formed us, he took the time to make every single cell and nerve and vein and bone and tendon that is below my skin's surface. I love thinking about this. I love knowing that I serve a God who took the time to do this to each and every one of us. He put in so much time and love....it's truly amazing!
I woke up suddenly as soon as my alarm went off - which is odd, because it usually takes me a good 10 minutes to really wake up. I'm a stomach sleeper - or, I was. So that morning I woke up with a seriously sore chest. My eyes popped open and the first thought that came into my head was "Oh my lord, I'm pregnant."
I got out of bed and felt the soreness even more. I checked the calendar - sure enough, I was already a week late. I went over to James and said, "Boo, I think I'm pregnant." To which he responded, "Whatever."
"No, I'm serious, James - my boobs hurt like heck and I'm a week late. Since you're off today, can you go buy a pregnancy test for me? I just need to be completely sure."
"No. You're crazy."
I really thought he was kidding, but by the time I was ready to come home I called him and asked if he'd bought the test and he said no. So I stopped by Target on my way back from work and bought it.
The Target employee at the register saw what I was buying and said, "Ooooooo - let's see. Look me in the eye. Yup. You're pregnant. And it's going to be a boy."
I literally LOL'd and said, "Ok, we'll see!"
I came home and took the test, and when I realized it was positive I said, "James....this mess is positive." Again, he said "No it's not - you're lying." "No, I'm serious - come look for yourself." James walked over to me, looked at the test and said "OH MY GOD YOU'RE PREGNANT!" And then he had the deer-in-headlights look on his face. I was suddenly so excited. I couldn't believe it was happening! I was smiling, laughing, jumping up and down, and James' deer-in-headlights look kept on....
We hadn't technically 'planned' this....we knew we wanted to get pregnant this year because 2014 marked our 5th anniversary, and we always said we'd wait 5 years before we had kids. And we had a good 5 years. We did some traveling, came and went as we pleased, volunteered the heck out of our time, and spent money on unnecessary things. So when 2013 was ending, we decided I'd stop taking my birth control, detox from all the estrogen, and then let nature kind of do its thing. Ideally, I wanted to start truly trying in June/July, but of course, we weren't very careful :) and by mid March I was pregnant. It happened so fast - but we were OK with it.
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to be pregnant at least once in my life. Pregnancy has always fascinated me. To me, the thought of carrying a life INSIDE of my own body is completely unfathomable and a ridiculous miracle that I will never understand. I still can't even comprehend the things that happened inside my body to form this perfect little human being. It makes me so much more aware of how our bodies are such a beautiful miracle in and of themselves, and brings closer to home the thought that God fearfully and wonderfully made us - with his own hands. He formed us, he took the time to make every single cell and nerve and vein and bone and tendon that is below my skin's surface. I love thinking about this. I love knowing that I serve a God who took the time to do this to each and every one of us. He put in so much time and love....it's truly amazing!
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