I Used To...

I used to be able to stay awake past 11p.  Now it's a struggle!

I used to HATE the morning.  Lately I've been in love with it.  Something about a whole brand new beginning...

I used to be able to wear 4" heels.  I wore some to work the other day and felt like a baby giraffe walking.  Never again.

I used to hate chocolate.  Today alone I've eaten 3 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and 2 Kit Kat bars. Don't judge me.  I'm about to eat a Snickers bar...

I used to be a vegetarian.  Then I got pregnant and all I wanted were burgers.  I haven't switched back ever since.  Womp womp.

I used to think people were never ready to start a family. I don't think that's true anymore. I believe there is a time in your life when you have no desire for children. But I do feel like you reach a certain point in your life when you just feel ready. You're suddenly OK with starting a family. I know because that's how I felt.

I used to love loud atmospheres like restaurants with super loud music. Now I'm just old and I cringe at loud things like the TV volume and always turn it down.  Except YG...I love me some loud church!

I used to dread going to work in the morning.  You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you just want to cry.  I never truly disconnected.  I was constantly checking email, replying back at all hours of the day and all days of the week, making sure I didn't forget to do something.  I'd wake up at 3a almost every day and email myself the one thing that I had forgotten to do.  Now I have a wonderful work-life balance.  It's unbelievable how normal I feel.

I used to procrastinate.  Now I don't have time for that.  I do my best to prepare.  I make Eli's diaper bag at night, so that the next day I'm not scrambling. I make jugs of his formula so that all I have to do is pour and warm. I prep for my meetings 2 days before the meeting starts.  One of my biggest pet peeves is feeling unprepared.  I'm slowly conquering that.

I used to think I knew what love is.  And then I had a baby.  Don't get me wrong - everyone loves in their own way and not everyone needs a baby to learn love.  But I have experienced love in a way I cannot even describe.  It's one of those moments you don't know about until you experience it for yourself.  It's this irrational emotion that you can't explain.  E is the light of my life, the second love of my life (James is the first - hehe), and the reason I wake up in the mornings.  I could just stare at him all day long.  Yes, I'm the creeper mom who stares at him while he sleeps.

All this to say that it's not only motherhood that changes us. It's time. It's circumstances. It's life. I used to be resistant to change - in fact, most of humanity is. We're all creatures of habit. But change is good. Gives us perspective and something to look forward to.

I love my life. I always have. With its constant changes, ups and downs, crazy and sad and happy times. I love everything about it. I love looking back and reflecting on where I was and where I am now. It gives me good perspective on where God has brought me through.