I Used To...

I used to be able to stay awake past 11p.  Now it's a struggle!

I used to HATE the morning.  Lately I've been in love with it.  Something about a whole brand new beginning...

I used to be able to wear 4" heels.  I wore some to work the other day and felt like a baby giraffe walking.  Never again.

I used to hate chocolate.  Today alone I've eaten 3 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and 2 Kit Kat bars. Don't judge me.  I'm about to eat a Snickers bar...

I used to be a vegetarian.  Then I got pregnant and all I wanted were burgers.  I haven't switched back ever since.  Womp womp.

I used to think people were never ready to start a family. I don't think that's true anymore. I believe there is a time in your life when you have no desire for children. But I do feel like you reach a certain point in your life when you just feel ready. You're suddenly OK with starting a family. I know because that's how I felt.

I used to love loud atmospheres like restaurants with super loud music. Now I'm just old and I cringe at loud things like the TV volume and always turn it down.  Except YG...I love me some loud church!

I used to dread going to work in the morning.  You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you just want to cry.  I never truly disconnected.  I was constantly checking email, replying back at all hours of the day and all days of the week, making sure I didn't forget to do something.  I'd wake up at 3a almost every day and email myself the one thing that I had forgotten to do.  Now I have a wonderful work-life balance.  It's unbelievable how normal I feel.

I used to procrastinate.  Now I don't have time for that.  I do my best to prepare.  I make Eli's diaper bag at night, so that the next day I'm not scrambling. I make jugs of his formula so that all I have to do is pour and warm. I prep for my meetings 2 days before the meeting starts.  One of my biggest pet peeves is feeling unprepared.  I'm slowly conquering that.

I used to think I knew what love is.  And then I had a baby.  Don't get me wrong - everyone loves in their own way and not everyone needs a baby to learn love.  But I have experienced love in a way I cannot even describe.  It's one of those moments you don't know about until you experience it for yourself.  It's this irrational emotion that you can't explain.  E is the light of my life, the second love of my life (James is the first - hehe), and the reason I wake up in the mornings.  I could just stare at him all day long.  Yes, I'm the creeper mom who stares at him while he sleeps.

All this to say that it's not only motherhood that changes us. It's time. It's circumstances. It's life. I used to be resistant to change - in fact, most of humanity is. We're all creatures of habit. But change is good. Gives us perspective and something to look forward to.

I love my life. I always have. With its constant changes, ups and downs, crazy and sad and happy times. I love everything about it. I love looking back and reflecting on where I was and where I am now. It gives me good perspective on where God has brought me through.

Why

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of coming up with the devotional for our directors meeting at work.  I was driving home one day, listening to 1080 KRLD (yes, I'm a nerd and I LOVE the news), and one of those short, 30 second programs came on, talking about why we work.  I was so excited because it fit so perfectly with our jobs in healthcare, and the thought of WHY I do what I do is so special to me.  So I thought I'd share my thoughts with the team.

You see, my job at THH is an answer to a prayer I’d been praying for over 2 years.  I was coming from a place that offered little to no work/life balance, my boss was incredibly mean to me, I was commuting over an hour one way, getting stuck in traffic and developing my road rage; so for me, I wanted to truly challenge myself to figure out why I do what I do.  Regardless of everything, my mission at my previous job was always a good one - I had the privilege of finding the means to help people eat.  That was always incredibly rewarding for me.  But when I realized I was going to make a big shift in career focuses, and if I’d been praying and praying for a job like this one, when I finally got it - how did my new WHY impact my work now?

I came across this story and it really drove that point home for me.  It goes like this:

In the late 1660s, Sir Christopher Wren was commissioned to re-design St. Paul’s Cathedral in London. According to legend, one day he visited the construction site of this great edifice and was unrecognized by the workers. Wren took advantage of this and walked about the site, asking several of the men what they were doing. One worker replied, “I am cutting a piece of stone.” A second worker responded, “I’m earning five shillings two pence a day.” A third, however, had a different perspective: “I am helping Christopher Wren build a magnificent cathedral to the glory of God.”

Why we do what we do is extremely important, particularly when it comes to our working lives and careers. That’s why Paul challenged the Ephesians in Ephesians 6, “Respectfully obey your earthly masters but always with an eye to obeying the real master, Christ. Don’t just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as Christ’s servants doing what God wants you to do. And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, you’re really serving God.”

If we do our work merely to earn a paycheck or satisfy a supervisor, we will fall short of the highest motivation—doing our best as evidence of our devotion to God. So, why do we work? As that laborer told Wren, we work “to the glory of God.”

No matter who signs your paycheck, you are really working for God.

This is why we work.  It is not for what we get.  It is about what we can give, and the biggest thing we can give to others is Jesus.  Just as our mission states – we are here to “extend the healing ministry of Christ.”  And just like our mission at the food bank stated - I was passionately pursuing a hunger-free community.

So live it out loud.  Share what will last.  Glorify God in the workplace, and be satisfied not only in the assignment we’ve been given, but in the one who gave it.  Let’s remember that our work on this earth matters because God is glorified in work well done. And one day, either on earth but most likely in heaven, we will know the impact we’ve made throughout our careers. 

And THAT is why I do what I do.